Felix and I traveled with a family to Ca Mau. We started our journey at 10pm on Friday, March 11th. We went to Mrs. Yen's house. There, we climbed into a small van with her, her husband and daughter. They have rented 2 vans to take their relatives to celebrate a Mass in Ca Mau. Our plan was to drive all night and arrive there in the morning. Ca Mau is located south of here, near the Cambodian border. I was happy with the van, plenty of room, comfortable, etc. We started off on our journey. Within a few minutes, we stopped at another home to pick up the rest of the family. To my surprise, our van filled up with family. I could sense their excitement for this trip. I am surrounded by 15 of this family. Felix is in the front seat, so conversation was out of the question. The young girl next to me spoke some English, very little. She is cute, maybe age 19, she painted her nails in a crisscross pattern of black and white. Felix would tease her and she would give it right back to him, a spunky girl!
A part of me was anxious because we were now like sardines in this van, and we have to drive all night. I love my sleep, it is a necessity for me. I did bring my travel pillow earplugs and mask, which I was too embarrassed to use the plugs and mask, but tried to use the pillow. Now when you think of a road trip like this, you imagine entering onto the highway and going fast to your destination. In Vietnam, the "highway" is full of speed bumps and bumps before bridges so I think the top speed was 45. They also have about 6 low speed bumps in a row so the van vibrates every once in awhile. There is no sleeping soundly here. After a couple hours, I find we are pulling over into a large parking lot, a parking lot for nothing, just an open area that has been tarred. They open the door and everyone starts walking to the field, oh, okay, bathroom break. I didn't have to go so I tried to close my eyes. Felix came back to the van and asked if I went. I thought maybe I should try because I wasn't sure how much longer we would be driving. I climbed out and started to walk by myself to the field. A strong smell came over me, making me actually gag. A smell worse than a sewer. Maybe they fertilized this field? But it looks like a wild field. The dirt is dry as sand. There is a path like a stream may run through it during monsoon season, but now it was dry. In the distance I could see banana trees, either way, I am in the field now, the family has gathered near the van, chatting away, I am in plain sight. I don't want to go into the dry stream because it is so dark and I can't see the bottom, and why is the ground wet? Oh great, I am walking through their pee spots aren't I? And yes, I have flip flops on. UGH. Okay, I will pee here, do I pee facing the van so it is as if I am looking at them looking at me? or do I turn away and let them see my behind facing them?? So many questions and nobody to answer them and MAN! WHAT IS THAT SMELL??! I look at my arms, they are disobeying my orders to pull my pants down............just swallow your pride and pee Kathy, nobody is looking, they are busy chatting...........and still nothing, my arms hang at my side not even attempting to unsnap, unzip, pull down..........my legs start walking back to the van, well, I guess my questions have been answered, I am not peeing here in this field, haha.
At 3 in the morning, we pull into a makeshift cafe on the side of the highway in nowhere land. I can't believe it is open. The family wants to eat Pho pronounced "PHA" a noodle soup very popular in Vietnam. Have they slept at all?? The young spunky girl calls my name to takes me to the bathroom. There were stalls lined down the right, and a long sink like a trough lines the other side, people are washing their faces in it. I wait in line, trying not to breath. The floor is wet and yes, I am still wearing flip flops. The door opens, my turn, and by now, I did have to go. I walked into the stall and man, this is where I really have a hard time. I am a germaphobe. There is not a toilet, there is a tile platform with a round porcelain basin in the middle. There is a built in basin on the right filled with warm dirty water. You step onto the platform, pull your pants down without letting them hit the floor or basin, squat over the basin, aim and pray for the best. Once done, hopefully you brought your own toilet paper, and if not, hopefully you've got the "shake" down by now. There is not a flush, you have to reach into the water filled basin for the plastic container to fill with water and pour into the "toilet". Water goes everywhere. So now, you are wondering about the water on the floor, it is 2 inches deep and my flip flops are less than an inch thick. I am walking like a robot so I don't splash my pants even more. I am repeating quietly in my head, "oh my God, oh my God" as if the germs are going to asphyxiate me before I can get back into the van. I head to the trough to wash my hands, hoping there is soap, there has to be, people were washing their faces, but no, there is none. Mental note, when they are passing out fruit again on the van politely say no.
After staying there for almost an hour, we get back in the van and travel on. They eat so much! Where they put it I don't know. They eat white rice at almost every meal and yet their figures are so perfect. Well, perfect for their size. (Which I have another post on size.) We are traveling on and on and I must had fallen asleep because when I woke, it was 5:45am, the sun was just starting to rise. There are vans, buses, cars, motor bikes and people all over the place. A little chaotic. We are told to take all our belongings off of the van. We are marching through this field on the side of the road, God, I hope there are not any snakes in here is all I'm thinking....other than sleep. I may have an hour or two of sleep under my belt. We are walking towards some houses. The locals here open their homes and allow you to sleep on their floor. The house we chose had about 30 people in it, I was just following the family, feeling almost like cattle being herded into a milking parlor. I was guided to a large low table, we were filed like sardines onto it to sleep. I am wearing jeans and laying on my side was painful, but didn't want to take up any more room than I had to. I am a giant around them and take up a lot of room as it is. I forced myself to sleep. When I woke almost an hour later, there were only 2 of us sleeping on the table. People were changing into their church clothes, putting on makeup. One man was washing dirty glasses with the hose and a plastic basin, people were lined up to use the bathroom. I figured I would brush my teeth and change so I also got in line. After waiting all that time, I entered the bathroom and it was wet, and without a sink. I couldn't walk into it, I just stepped back and walked away. I grabbed my flip flops at the entrance of the house. I went into the back open room that was almost like a garage and hid to change. I am enjoying this occasion, don't get me wrong, but some of it is an eye opener of how people live. I am in no way making fun of anyone, just observing how they live. What is unbearable to me is second nature to them....they don't think twice about going into a bathroom with a soaking wet floor, because they are use to having a wet floor, their showers are not separate like ours are, they are on the wall in ea bathroom with a drain and a sink and a toilet, so everything gets wet.
We are now walking down the road a bit to get a coffee and maybe some bfast. We found a roadside cafe with tables and plastic chairs. I ordered an ice coffee with milk, which is delicious. Vietnamese coffee is wonderful. They make it with sweetened condensed milk and a strong coffee. I don't usually like my coffee sweet or strong, but for some reason, I love this. I also order Banh Kem which is bread made like a small french loaf with fried egg, cucumber and a sweet/spicy sauce. It is widely available and my favorite so far. Felix is heading to the church. He is one of the 20 to help celebrate the Mass. The Mass is to celebrate the life of a Vietnamese priest, named Truong Buu Diep, that was beheaded in 1946. His remains are at this church. This is a big deal for this area. It is not heavily populated and yet, every year at this time approximately 20,000 people come to pay their respects and celebrate the mass. I have a small video I will post on FB when I return for you. In it, some people have gathered near the coffin and are praying, sounds like a chant. It really sounds like a song. You'll notice people are touching the coffin and rubbing their heads and bodies as if to help them heal. There is also a large statue that they are touching and kissing. Such strong faith. We stand in the hot sun waiting for the Mass to begin. I see Felix and I am so happy for him. When it is time to receive the Body of Christ, he gets to come our way, I touched his arm and he saw that we were there in the crowd, he stopped and started to offer us the Body of Christ. People started crowding around us to receive it also. One woman even asked to have his bracelet of rosary beads, she pleaded for it. He reluctantly gave it to her, knowing that this was his second one he rec'd, his first one was also asked for and the Sister that gave it to him told him to KEEP this one for himself, don't give it away! haha.
After the Mass, I got to meet the Bishop and have lunch with the priests, I was very honored. We met up with the family soon after. I was hoping Felix could go out and see the church and surroundings, but the family was ready to head home. I saw a little disappointment on his face, but we were guests, so we started our long journey back. And what a long journey it was. So much driving in such a full van. I tried to follow the conversation, but the Vietnamese language is like no other. It is incredibly hard to understand.
I was very happy to have had this experience. To witness a tight knit family with such strong faith. Also, I can now say, I have been to Ca Mau to celebrate the Mass. It reminded me of what Sturgis must be like when they have the bike rally. A small town with a low population and bam, one day, it has over 20,000 people in it. Not that I saw any biker girls in Ca Mau, haha I have posted pictures in the album here, you may have seen them:
https://picasaweb.google.com/103691188319770375535/CaMau?authkey=Gv1sRgCKee5Y_D0dzh6QE#
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Selflessness
I just have to share with you this touching moment.
We went to Huang Mai to play with the disabled children and I was also there to help clean their teeth. When I was almost finished, Thien came in and asked to take my camera. If you know me well enough, you know that I am pretty picky with who touches my camera. I could tell by the excitement in Thien's eyes that it was okay to lend it to him. I followed him within a few minutes to a room where a bunch of the children were sitting on the floor in a circle. One of the students came to me, a young man with thick black hair, came up to me and Thien said he wants Mother Kathy to sit next to him and share his birthday cake. I said, "Oh it's your birthday!" He has a hard time speaking let alone speaking English but he said,"Yes!" He is turning 16 today. Some of the Sisters had gone to a market and bought a cake for everyone to share. I got to sit next to him and help Sister cut the cake. We cut about 20 small pieces, started lining them up, and to my suprise, the eager kids started passing them down to each other. When I was a child and still to this day, you pass me some cake, I am digging in, I'm not even thinking about passing it down, haha. As I make this observation, I see a young boy standing up next to an older boy sitting on the ground. The smaller boy is feeding his piece to the older boy because the older boy cannot feed himself. The younger boy was laughing and getting icing on his face. Here are two young men that have such disabilities that they need constant care. One would think that they are use to taking care of themselves first, if at all possible and yet, here they are helping their brother in need first. The younger boy came back after feeding the older one his whole piece, then asked for some for himself. So what does helpless really mean?? I honestly had tears in my eyes.
I have posted the photos of this in the album Ca Mau
https://picasaweb.google.com/103691188319770375535/CaMau?authkey=Gv1sRgCKee5Y_D0dzh6QE#
We went to Huang Mai to play with the disabled children and I was also there to help clean their teeth. When I was almost finished, Thien came in and asked to take my camera. If you know me well enough, you know that I am pretty picky with who touches my camera. I could tell by the excitement in Thien's eyes that it was okay to lend it to him. I followed him within a few minutes to a room where a bunch of the children were sitting on the floor in a circle. One of the students came to me, a young man with thick black hair, came up to me and Thien said he wants Mother Kathy to sit next to him and share his birthday cake. I said, "Oh it's your birthday!" He has a hard time speaking let alone speaking English but he said,"Yes!" He is turning 16 today. Some of the Sisters had gone to a market and bought a cake for everyone to share. I got to sit next to him and help Sister cut the cake. We cut about 20 small pieces, started lining them up, and to my suprise, the eager kids started passing them down to each other. When I was a child and still to this day, you pass me some cake, I am digging in, I'm not even thinking about passing it down, haha. As I make this observation, I see a young boy standing up next to an older boy sitting on the ground. The smaller boy is feeding his piece to the older boy because the older boy cannot feed himself. The younger boy was laughing and getting icing on his face. Here are two young men that have such disabilities that they need constant care. One would think that they are use to taking care of themselves first, if at all possible and yet, here they are helping their brother in need first. The younger boy came back after feeding the older one his whole piece, then asked for some for himself. So what does helpless really mean?? I honestly had tears in my eyes.
I have posted the photos of this in the album Ca Mau
https://picasaweb.google.com/103691188319770375535/CaMau?authkey=Gv1sRgCKee5Y_D0dzh6QE#
Monday, March 21, 2011
Why am I here?
I get asked that question quite a bit. Why Vietnam? Why here in Go Vap? Why for 3 mos? And you know, there isn't a definitive moment that I can think of to answer why. Desire is one word. What connection do I have with Vietnam if any? The only answer I can give, is that growing up in Hawaii, I had a few Vietnamese students in my class. In 4th grade, Tinh was new to our class. He was tall, thin, black hair, and had the biggest ears I had ever seen. The boys would pull on them and tease him during recess. Tinh could not speak English, he followed orders by example. I wanted to be his friend, help him. We would play a little together, until one day, out of silliness, I wanted to show my affection so I did what every girl does, you punch or kick someone you really like, I pulled his ears while waiting in line after recess. I saw his face, he was hurt, and really frustrated. I will never forget his face. I hurt someone that I cared about and I couldn't say I'm sorry. At a young age, it left an impact on me. Here is a young boy, that is put into the school system with out knowing any English. How scary. Maybe he was scared, maybe he was happy to be out of Vietnam. Either way, I don't know because he couldn't talk with me. I still often wonder about him and his sister. I'm sure he doesn't even remember me, and yet, he had an impact on my life. Someone who faces his fears on a daily basis and grows from it. He faced bullies every day on the playground that judged him because of his nationality and because of his ears, and yet, he came to class every day to learn more.
I was also influenced by a Vietnamese family that moved into a home on Ilihau Street. The mother was kind. Her children were very young, not any age that I would play with, but the Mother was so kind to me. Always waving hi when I walked home from school, having a cool drink waiting for me as I walked by. I wish I could remember her name. I loved the smells from her kitchen, rice and fish sauce. I guess I was at a very impressionable age. The only other connection I have to knowing anyone from Vietnam is the girl that lived down the road from us in California. Her name was Wen. She was a year younger than me. I loved going to her house. There were 3 generations living in that one house. There was always cooking going on, children running around, her grandparents were kind. She moved to San Francisco one day. I was very sad. I loved her accent, her jet black hair, her family life. I loved that her hair was so long and one day, she gathered it up behind her and cut it in one swipe, wow, to me that took guts!! And it came out so nice!
And then there is the obvious, the war. I've always wondered what Vietnam looks like. We've all heard stories about the war and have seen photos. We all know someone that was in the war. I really don't know or understand why we were here. But I think it is amazing that people here are so welcoming and happy to see an American. And let me tell you, where I am, I haven't seen another one since I've been here. I do get the looks, the double takes. Some men yell at me. They yell because I am the answer to them getting out of Vietnam. I was told that I will be wooed from many to attempt romance, so that we can get married and then my new husband can come to America and live a happy life. I left America to find happiness here and they are dreaming of coming to America to find happiness there.
So the answer to the question still remains and maybe the only answer I can give that makes sense is that God put this desire in my heart and once I recognized it and took steps to achieve it, all the doors opened to make it possible. Here are just some of the amazing things that happened for me to get here: I met Anna, a wonderful woman that answered some of my questions I had posted online about coming here and volunteering. Anna is a teacher here in Vietnam. She is from the Philippines and has been here for 2 years. I started asking questions on TripAdvisor and she would give some answers. I then started to ask her directly on TripAdvisor. We started corresponding more and more. Now I consider her a dear friend. Anna met Felix one day while she was working as a guide at the Notre Dame Basilica in Ho Chi Minh City. She asked Felix if he would be interested in having an American come for 3 mos to help teach English. He was, so Anna gave me his email. We started to correspond. Then to make it easier, we started to use Skype to communicate. Felix is from India, he has been here teaching English for almost 2 years. He has 5 young men here studying and living in his home that he rents in the BenCat area of Go Vap. He is very dark, tall, thin, has a great laugh and a great disposition. He was interested in me helping him teach English in the morning every day during the week. He also asked if I could help clean the teeth of some disabled children and blind girls. Of course! So now I have a purpose. How long can I go for?? Well, Vietnam will only allow you to visit for 3 mos. I could get a learning certificate and stay longer but I was not interested in all that red tape. 3mos would be long enough. I was planning on leaving my Dental Assisting position and returning full time at the Diner that I work at. I told the Dr. my plans and at first he didn't take it too well. After a few days of letting it sink in, he asked me to come back after my visit and still work for him! Now to find a dental assistant to replace me. As luck would have it, an experienced dental assistant was looking for a job for only 3 mos because she is moving to FL in June, what are the odds??! And when I purchased my plane ticket, I figured I would have to spend almost 2 grand. I kept looking and looking at the flights. One night, I found one for $850.00, that's cheaper than flying to California and this was round trip! Next to find a room, by this time, I had sent out many emails to different locations to inquire about rent. Anna was even trying to get me a room where she rents, but the owner never responded. And now I am thankful because Felix found me a room to rent with a family that lives a few miles away for only $100.00 a month and I have my own bathroom. Now to make sure I have enough money.....I was given so many generous gifts of money that my rent was paid ahead of time. I was also given by Patti 2 boxes of toothbrushes and by Dr. Roth, 2 boxes of toothpaste. I found dictionaries and books at the second hand stores etc. This trip has truly been a gift. God has taken care of everything, all I had to do was find the courage to go. To trust and go. And to be honest, the day Mark took me to the airport, I cried, out of fear. I was feeling scared of what I was heading into. I was giving up so much to come here. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of the language barrier, the food, the weather, the family I am staying with, did I pack enough medicine? Did I pack enough feminine products?? Do they even sell that stuff here?? Through our tears Mark said, "any time you feel that you want to come home, you just let me know." It's funny because I do want to come home, I want to run home, screaming and laughing, like a child after school. But I am not ready to come home just yet, there is still something pulling at me and I think only time will tell what it is.
I was also influenced by a Vietnamese family that moved into a home on Ilihau Street. The mother was kind. Her children were very young, not any age that I would play with, but the Mother was so kind to me. Always waving hi when I walked home from school, having a cool drink waiting for me as I walked by. I wish I could remember her name. I loved the smells from her kitchen, rice and fish sauce. I guess I was at a very impressionable age. The only other connection I have to knowing anyone from Vietnam is the girl that lived down the road from us in California. Her name was Wen. She was a year younger than me. I loved going to her house. There were 3 generations living in that one house. There was always cooking going on, children running around, her grandparents were kind. She moved to San Francisco one day. I was very sad. I loved her accent, her jet black hair, her family life. I loved that her hair was so long and one day, she gathered it up behind her and cut it in one swipe, wow, to me that took guts!! And it came out so nice!
And then there is the obvious, the war. I've always wondered what Vietnam looks like. We've all heard stories about the war and have seen photos. We all know someone that was in the war. I really don't know or understand why we were here. But I think it is amazing that people here are so welcoming and happy to see an American. And let me tell you, where I am, I haven't seen another one since I've been here. I do get the looks, the double takes. Some men yell at me. They yell because I am the answer to them getting out of Vietnam. I was told that I will be wooed from many to attempt romance, so that we can get married and then my new husband can come to America and live a happy life. I left America to find happiness here and they are dreaming of coming to America to find happiness there.
So the answer to the question still remains and maybe the only answer I can give that makes sense is that God put this desire in my heart and once I recognized it and took steps to achieve it, all the doors opened to make it possible. Here are just some of the amazing things that happened for me to get here: I met Anna, a wonderful woman that answered some of my questions I had posted online about coming here and volunteering. Anna is a teacher here in Vietnam. She is from the Philippines and has been here for 2 years. I started asking questions on TripAdvisor and she would give some answers. I then started to ask her directly on TripAdvisor. We started corresponding more and more. Now I consider her a dear friend. Anna met Felix one day while she was working as a guide at the Notre Dame Basilica in Ho Chi Minh City. She asked Felix if he would be interested in having an American come for 3 mos to help teach English. He was, so Anna gave me his email. We started to correspond. Then to make it easier, we started to use Skype to communicate. Felix is from India, he has been here teaching English for almost 2 years. He has 5 young men here studying and living in his home that he rents in the BenCat area of Go Vap. He is very dark, tall, thin, has a great laugh and a great disposition. He was interested in me helping him teach English in the morning every day during the week. He also asked if I could help clean the teeth of some disabled children and blind girls. Of course! So now I have a purpose. How long can I go for?? Well, Vietnam will only allow you to visit for 3 mos. I could get a learning certificate and stay longer but I was not interested in all that red tape. 3mos would be long enough. I was planning on leaving my Dental Assisting position and returning full time at the Diner that I work at. I told the Dr. my plans and at first he didn't take it too well. After a few days of letting it sink in, he asked me to come back after my visit and still work for him! Now to find a dental assistant to replace me. As luck would have it, an experienced dental assistant was looking for a job for only 3 mos because she is moving to FL in June, what are the odds??! And when I purchased my plane ticket, I figured I would have to spend almost 2 grand. I kept looking and looking at the flights. One night, I found one for $850.00, that's cheaper than flying to California and this was round trip! Next to find a room, by this time, I had sent out many emails to different locations to inquire about rent. Anna was even trying to get me a room where she rents, but the owner never responded. And now I am thankful because Felix found me a room to rent with a family that lives a few miles away for only $100.00 a month and I have my own bathroom. Now to make sure I have enough money.....I was given so many generous gifts of money that my rent was paid ahead of time. I was also given by Patti 2 boxes of toothbrushes and by Dr. Roth, 2 boxes of toothpaste. I found dictionaries and books at the second hand stores etc. This trip has truly been a gift. God has taken care of everything, all I had to do was find the courage to go. To trust and go. And to be honest, the day Mark took me to the airport, I cried, out of fear. I was feeling scared of what I was heading into. I was giving up so much to come here. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of the language barrier, the food, the weather, the family I am staying with, did I pack enough medicine? Did I pack enough feminine products?? Do they even sell that stuff here?? Through our tears Mark said, "any time you feel that you want to come home, you just let me know." It's funny because I do want to come home, I want to run home, screaming and laughing, like a child after school. But I am not ready to come home just yet, there is still something pulling at me and I think only time will tell what it is.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Photos
Just to let you know that when you open an album, after looking at photos, click on MY PHOTOS next to HOME, there are more albums.
And also, you may feed the fish on here by sliding the mouse over the water and clicking, it drops food, thanks for feeding them. Have fun!
And also, you may feed the fish on here by sliding the mouse over the water and clicking, it drops food, thanks for feeding them. Have fun!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The love of a son, and his sense of humor
This is a funny JibJab song Joshua made for me, it made me laugh so hard. It has "toilet" humor, your warned!
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/60qjmbdc9WlajSEv
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/60qjmbdc9WlajSEv
Monday, March 14, 2011
3-11-2011
https://picasaweb.google.com/103691188319770375535/3112011?authkey=Gv1sRgCLjDwo7Gs9atmQE#
Please let me know if you can access this photo album, I will be posting photos from here. You may have to open a free google acct to access.
Enjoy!
Please let me know if you can access this photo album, I will be posting photos from here. You may have to open a free google acct to access.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Part of my morning lesson
Here is an example of my morning. I get up every morning around 6. I stretch and exercise for about 30 minutes. I roll up the a cushion I put on the mat that I sleep on. Hang the mosquito net up. Get my clothes ready for the day. Take a quick bath, wash my undergarments from the day before in the basin that I took my bath in, and when I say bath, I mean, there is a shower in my bathroom, not one like what you and I have. It is a spicket coming out of the wall in the bathroom, next to the toilet. The drain is in the corner. There is a box that allows warm water to come if you turn it on. The water supply is a large water tank on the roof. You turn on a pump every so often to fill the tank from the main source. It is not clean water. The water in the tank uses gravity to work. I use the water sparingly. When I take a shower, I stand in a basin and allow the water to trickle just enough to get wet, I turn it off to soap up, then on again to rinse. Gone for now are the days of taking a long hot shower. I don't mind showering this way, I do not want to waste the water. It is so hot and muggy here that drying off is kind of a joke. Think of the hottest, most humid day you have experienced, then think worse. Honestly, I like this kind of weather. I don't even bother wearing makeup or doing my hair...........which has been a nice change for me. I am learning to wear makeup because I want to not because I feel I have to. I have been accepted here just as the way I am, no makeup, hair pulled back, forehead leading the way, haha. I didn't realize I was so self conscious of my appearance. There are not a lot of mirrors to see myself in. I will be teaching or visiting all day. Then I may catch a glimpse of myself and automatically think, " OMG, you look terrible!"........but really, that is only me that has felt that way for so long. I don't look terrible, I look like me, and that is how I want to look......like me, Kathy. I hope you are feeling beautiful on the inside and outside automatically, with out looking in the mirror to get the answer.
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