A Passing.........

A young woman of 76 died yesterday, Anna Maria. She is the wife of the landlord and a mother of 10. I went to visit her a few times to sit with her. She was suffering from stomach cancer. Every time I went, her daughters would be there, sitting with her, fanning her. She had a beautiful smile. I would sit with her and hold her hand, I would close my eyes and picture love coming from God, through me, to her. She spoke very softly to me. There was always someone there to translate. They live only a few doors from us. The landlord was actually at our house discussing the rent when some of the family members came running to the house to beg him to come home, his wife was passing.
Later the same evening, we went to their home. There were tables set up outside with water bottles on them. A sound system was set up in the yard. A large banner with Anna Maria's picture and information was hanging. We walked up the steps to the open room. Inside, Anna was laying on a low bed. She was dressed in traditional Vietnamese clothes and a white linen was covering her face. I could see she had lipstick on. Roses of all colors surrounded her. She had on blue slippers with silver rhinestones on them. At the head of the bed was a table covered with white linen. A large cross with Jesus was on there with a bowl of sand holding lots of incense sticks. Hanging from the tall ceiling was a large purple cloth with Jesus standing with open arms and Vietnamese writing. The cloth was large enough to separate the two rooms. Being a mother of 10, she had plenty of grandchildren running around. We entered the room, stood around the bed, shoulder to shoulder with everyone present. Thien, one of the young men staying here, started the prayer. We sang a few songs then sat down on mats and repeated the rosary, all in Vietnamese. The husband would wipe his tired eyes every once in awhile. The process lasted almost an hour. I was touched by how the family must have bathed her, dressed her, did her hair and makeup. Once she became sick and up to her death, her family never left her side. The following day, we were to go back to bless the coffin and two days later, she will have a Mass and head to her hometown of Voom Tau for her burial.
We went to their house the next day. Anna was surrounded by so many friends and family. Felicks started the blessing using a wireless microphone they had provided. There was a man there video taping with a camera large enough for a TV station. Being a foreigner and affiliated with The Servants of Charity, they brought me to the front both days. I was touched. While Felicks finished the blessing, a woman, the local kindergarten teacher, started passing out linens that were tied with a satin bow to the family members. The men and women put on the linen pants and shirts. I'm assuming those were the direct relatives of Anna. The grandchildren tied white bands around their heads. The women put on the white linen bonnets. Once the blessing was finished, two men dressed in white suits with heavy embroidery walked in and at the same time, a band full of horns started playing loudly a sad, sad melody. The family started wailing, crying out and pounding their chests. I found myself walking away to stand on the lawn. I wanted to respect them and give them space to say their final goodbyes. Felicks, the boys and myself stayed for a few minutes sitting at one of the tables drinking water.
On our way home, we walked quietly. Thien stopped at a market shop so I waited for him, watching the rest walk back to the house. He is the main chef here so he was purchasing fresh vegetables. While walking back, we were talking and giggling, he has a great giggle, sounds like a girl. A young girl stopped us and gave us a beautiful large fish that her mother just cleaned.
And that is what makes the world go round. Living here in poverty, you see the important choices in life much more clearly. I see infants growing fast, young children run up to me and jump into my arms, neighbors smile and wave now, business owners want to give freely, etc. And during all this, we have birth and death. Life goes on. We feel joy, happiness, content, free, compassion, empathy mixed in with anxiety, sorrow, and sadness. Our basket was empty this morning, we woke with sadness and then, here we are, eating fresh fish that was given to us, sharing the thoughts about the day and plan for tomorrow.
Sleep in peace and hug the ones you love.